I Wish He Had Come With Instructions by Mike Bechtle

We women know that men are different. This is a book for women about how to understand men.

There are certainly differences between men and women. This shows up most clearly in how we communicate. It's a challenge because men think differently than women. Bechtle calls on research and his own experience to help women understand what goes on in a man's brain.

Men have more gray matter than women but women have more white matter. Women have more connections between the neurons and can “think faster” than men. “Men usually take more time to process information than a woman...” That may explain those silent moments in a conversation.

“A woman can focus on multiple things at a time, while a man gives his entire attention to his current task.” Men focus on one thing at a time, so don't expect a man to pay attention to you when he is watching a game. Men don't get hints or nuances in a conversation and they are not good at reading facial expressions so women must speak plainly to communicate well. We get tips on speaking "male" too.

Bechtle makes sure we understand that he is writing about healthy males, not controlling or selfish ones. He encourages us to remember the similarities between men and women and celebrate the differences. He also explores the possibility of those differences resulting in a synergy, something greater than the separate parts.

We learn about the six things men are looking for in a relationship. We find out men are competitive by nature and desire to win. They also desire to be heroes. And, “In a sense, men are just tall boys.” They grew up on play and it is part of who they are.

I learned a great deal from this book. I recommend it to any woman who wants to understand how a man thinks and why he does what he does. Bechtle has given us a huge amount of insight into men, helpful for any woman in her communication with a man. The only aspect I felt missing from this book was a spiritual one. There is nothing about how men and women differ in their spiritual walk and how that might affect Christian couples.

My rating: 4/5 stars.

Mike Bechtle has a unique blend of corporate and ministry experiences. He spent eighteen years in churches and Christian universities and has given more than three thousand seminars on productivity, leadership, and communication. He is currently a senior training consultant for FranklinCovey Company. He lives in Fullerton, California. You can find out more at www.mikebechtle.com.

Revell, 224 pages.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.