Monday, December 11, 2017

I'd Like You More if You Were More Like Me by John Ortberg

We are made for intimacy, Ortberg writes. He shares here his experiences and insights into having meaningful relations with others and with God. He believes “God uses our relationships with other people to teach us how to love him.” (Loc 182/4380)

He has ideas on what intimacy is and is not. He shares obstacles to intimacy, why we fear intimacy, myths about intimacy, how people differ in their ideas about intimacy, and the various way intimacy is developed.

My favorite part of the book was his section on intimacy with God. Our image of God, Ortberg says, will shape how we interact with others and the world around us, and how we see ourselves. I was intrigued about his ideas on lack of self awareness and self knowledge. I also appreciated his teaching on self deception and how sin blinds us. He included many psychological insights that also reflect Scripture truth.

Ortberg's writing style is easy reading. He tells lots of stories from his own life and from the Bible to illustrate his points. He also quotes other books at length. Readers who enjoy stories and quotes will like that aspect of the book while I liked more his sections with actual teaching points.

This is a good book for anyone wanting insight into intimacy in relationships, what sabotages it, and how it can be developed, including aspects like suffering. You'll get some good teaching on psychological issues too.

My rating: 4/5 stars.

John Ortberg is the senior pastor at Menlo Church, an author and speaker. He has written several book on spiritual formation. He holds a master of divinity and doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Fuller Seminary. He was previously teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago. You can find out more at

Tyndale Momentum, 320 pages.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review. I read an ARC of this book and the quote may have been changed in the print copy.

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