They Were Single Too by David M Hoffeditz

I found this to be a confusing book. Hoffeditz writes that singleness is a divinely appointed gift from God with blessings to enjoy. (25) He said he was to “relish the fact that God had lavished the gift of singleness on me.” (38) Yet he was not content in his single state – he was a miserable single. He struggled with jealousy of married couples. Listening to his students talk about becoming engaged was “unpleasant” for him. (38) He writes about having to grow in his acceptance of being alone, and of experiencing “the cloud of isolation.” (57) He longed for marriage and remaining content in his single state seemed “overwhelming” at times. (61)

The more I read of Hoffeditz's experiences, the more I was convinced he did not have the “gift” of singleness. He wrote this book over ten years ago, when he was single, but is now married with two children.

There is some good, general teaching in this book. For example, he writes of trying to fill up the void in his life with accomplishments. He writes about trusting God in adverse circumstances and seeing opportunities to recognize God's presence and provision. He has a good section on temptation. He uses the stories of biblical characters to illustrate his teaching. These general instructions apply equally well to married Christians as well as singles.

Hoffeditz identifies the purpose of this book “is to take a fresh look at exactly what the Scriptures says about singleness.” (10) He does that within the context of his own dissatisfaction with being single. A Christian who truly has God's gift of singleness may well be frustrated with this book, as I was. A Christian who is single but really wants to be married will better appreciate this book and will be able to identify, I am sure, with the discontent expressed with being single.

My rating: 3/5 stars.

David M. Hoffeditz is cofounder and director of Ancient Tours, which leads several trips a year to biblical lands, and president of Iron-2-Iron Ministries. He also teaches part time at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.

Kregel Publications, 160 pages.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.