Friday, October 17, 2014

The Woman Code by Sophia A. Nelson

This book came out of Nelson's own deep self-discovery after enduring an even deeper pain. This is a book about self-worth, about how we treat ourselves and how we teach others to treat us. It is about making peace with our past, about finding our value, about finding our voice.

Each of us live by a code and Nelson gives us hers. We must first know our value, our worth. We must put ourselves at the top of the list. We must be informed by our past but not let it define us. We are to be authentic. We are to be accountable for our life. We are to protect our heart.

She goes on to write about resilience, aging, gossip, apology, the power of thoughts and words, and untying rather than cutting relationships. In the workplace she advocates leading from the heart and advises bravery. About relationships she addresses the inner circle of friends, love, laughter, loyalty, and having courageous conversations.

She writes about these key areas and includes suggestions to live out the principles, including practical steps. There is also a study guide at the end of the book.

Nelson is writing to women who have been beaten down, who have been deeply hurt. The attitude needed is, “Enough. I am going to live my life for me before it is over.” And, “We do not put husbands and kids so far above self that we forget we have dreams, needs, wants, and desires too.” And, “Here's the thing: the only way we grow into better human beings is by facing ourselves and facing our problems so we can fix them.”

It is important for potential Christian readers to know that there is never mention of the work of the Holy Spirit, or allowing God to transform us, etc. Nelson does identify herself as a Christian and she does say women should have a strong spiritual life. She never says it needs to be a Christian spiritual life, however.

The focus of this book is definitely “self” oriented. She writes, “You see, everyone we meet, for better or worse, comes to teach us something about ourselves. It is never about them. It is always about what we can learn about us: to grow us, to better us, to refine us, and to restore us.” She also writes, “The goal of your life should be the search for your life.” That seems to go against Jesus' teaching about finding life and losing it (Matt. 10:39) That also seems to go against Paul's admonition to value others more highly than ourselves. (Phil. 2:3)

The thrust of the book is to help women reach their potential. In the general self-help genre, it would be a fine book. In the Christian genre (with which this publisher has been identified for decades), it comes up lacking.

Learn more about the book and watch the book trailer at

Sophia Nelson is an award-winning author, award-winning journalist, and former White House correspondent for JET magazine. She is a noted television personality, appearing regularly on MSNBC as well as having appeared on many other networks. She writes for Newsweek/The Daily Beast and The Huffington Post. She is a motivational speaker and leadership trainer in the Fortune 500 industry and universities.

Revell, 256 pages.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.

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