Having
a successful marriage is hard. What fascinated us in our potential
spouse often is found irritating after marriage. Choices are made
everyday that lead to improvement or decline in a marriage. How do we
know what to do?
The
Merrills have been working for twenty years on making marriages
better. They have taken their combined experience and an analysis of
comments on their posts and created lists. They have developed the format
of lists because they can be readily used in our fast paced and
complicated lives.
The
lists are designed to help us manage our expectations,
evaluate how we are doing (using God's standards), and give ways to
improve our marriage. The Merrills have found that these areas are
ones where people want help.
There
are thirty lists so one could be reviewed each day for a month.
Readers could also just go to a specific list, wanting to work on a
specific area. There are “Taking the Next Step” sections at the
end of each chapter containing evaluation questions and action
suggestions.
What
are on these lists? The first one contains truths, such as, marriage
is hard work. The next one contains things to remember, like our
marriage vows. Other lists remind us of the power of words, actions
to stop doing, unfair expectations we might have of our spouse, what
we should expect of our spouse, what we want to hear from our spouse,
forgiveness, respectful treatment in public, and much more.
There
are two books, one with lists for husbands and the other with lists
for wives. The text of both books are generally the same. Each book is written from the view point of the spouse, however, and contains a few gender specific illustrations and issues. What wives would like to hear
from their husbands is quite different from what husbands would like
to hear from their wives. There is a chapter for husbands on
pornography while the corresponding chapter for wives deals with
hardening the heart. But the format of the books allow spouses to
generally discuss each chapter together.
I
like the way these books have been designed. I like the idea of doing
a chapter a day for a month, then starting over again. The
suggestions for evaluation and action at the end of each chapter are
good. Some of the suggestions seem a little contrived, however. I'm not sure
I'd appreciate a compliment I received from my spouse knowing it came
verbatim from a book.
I
recommend these books to couples wanting to tune up their marriage.
The books would also make a good anniversary gift. While God is
mentioned frequently in these books, there is no use of the Bible so
these books would be good for all couples, not just Christians.
My
rating: 4/5 stars.
Mark
Merrill is the founder and president of Family First, a national
nonprofit organization dedicated to helping people love their
families well. He hosts The Family Minute, a nationally
syndicated daily radio program. He also gives marriage and parenting
wisdom through his blog and podcast at www.markmerrill.com.
He is the author of All Pro Dad – Seven Essentials to Be a Hero
to Your Kids. He and his wife, Susan, live in Tampa, Florida, and
have five children.
Susan
Merrill is the director of content for Family First and oversees the
content creation and digital marketing of all Family First platforms.
She blogs at www.susanme.com/
and is the author of The Passionate Mom – Dare to Parent in Today's
World. She is married to Mark and is the mother of their five
children.
You
can find out more about their ministry at
https://www.familyfirst.net/.
FaithWords,
208 pages each.
I
received complimentary copies of these books from the publisher. My
comments are an independent and honest review.
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