Sunday, May 15, 2016

I Don't Get You by Sherry Graf

Much has been written on sexual purity but Graf takes the issue one step deeper to emotional purity.

I wish I'd had this booklet a year ago. I agreed to take an elderly man, old enough to be my father, to his series of appointments for eye surgery. While I knew I was just being kind, there soon developed an emotional attachment on his part. After reading this booklet, I understand exactly what happened.

It seems like Graf wrote this booklet just for me, having found myself in a confusing relationship with the opposite sex. She helped me understand how conversations build emotional ties. She helped me understand how to express concern without unintended intimacy. I now realize that context and content are both important in understanding how conversation relates to intimacy.

I really like Graf's description of the five conversation categories. That helped me grasp the emotional levels involved. I now understand that my elderly acquaintance sharing the deep hurt of the recent loss of his wife in the context of me driving him to the doctor's office created an emotional dependency on his part. Should I do this kind of ministry again, I'll make sure to take someone with me, changing the context from one on one to a group setting.

This is a great booklet for singles. You'll learn conversation skills and recognize areas of caution. You'll know how to keep from unintentionally sending intimacy signals when you want to keep the relationship platonic. You'll also gain understanding that will be helpful in your future relationships such as marriage.

This booklet is not just for young people, however. Pastors, counselors, and ministry leaders would benefit from reading this booklet. There are lots of discussion questions so it could be used for training over a few sessions. The booklet is a great tool for understanding and developing healthy relationships between men and women.

My rating: 5/5 stars.

Sherry Graf and her husband are on staff with Navigators in collegiate work. They have three children.

NavPress, 80 pages.

I received a complimentary egalley of this booklet from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
Post a Comment