Conflict
is going to happen. Every personal relationship will have it. Perhaps
you avoid conflict at all costs. Perhaps you wade through but cause
more problems. Mintle wants readers to successfully talk through
personal conflict and has written this book to help build the skills
and attitudes necessary to do so.
Mintle
argues that under the right conditions, relationships will grow in
intimacy when conflict is handled properly. She helps us understand
the causes of conflict, their styles, the skills needed, the benefits
of facing conflict, instruction from the Bible, and good practices.
I
was impressed with her helping us understand the current influence
from the conflict model we have from childhood. That explained much
of my own attitude toward conflict. She relates what happens when two
people have different conflict styles and the price we pay when we
avoid conflict altogether. She reminds us that we may need to
readjust our expectations and be more flexible.
Mintle
covers many interpersonal relationships. She has great teaching on
marriage relationships, including in-laws, blended families, divorce,
and much more. She has a wealth of information on expectations,
values, and beliefs and how those affect conflict. She includes
stories from her own counseling, giving great examples of how
problems were worked out.
I
learned a great deal from this book. She reminded me that working
through conflict is pleasing to God and is helping the situation. And
then there is this proven fact: “...[P]eople who deal with conflict
live longer.” (42)
I
think nearly everyone could benefit from this book. I highly
recommend it.
Food
for thought: “To truly keep the peace, one has to stay open to
confronting problems.” (213)
Dr.
Linda Mintle is a national speaker and a bestselling author. She is
the Chair of the Division of Behavioral Health at the College of
Osteopathic Medicine at Liberty University. She hosts her own BeliefNet
blog, Doing Life Together. She lives in Virginia. Find out
more at www.drlindamintle.com.
Baker
Books, 256 pages.
I
received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for the
purpose of an independent and honest review.
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