This
is not your typical Christian spirituality/memoir book. Chin is
extremely honest about his own feelings. That was something that I found
both refreshing and disturbing.
Chin
recounts his own year and a half of suffering. His wife had a
miscarriage. He took his family to Washington, DC to start a church.
They bought a house in a tough neighborhood. When they went to move
in, they found squatters had taken sinks, the garbage disposal, had
ruined carpets, and more. Later they experienced burglaries. And then
his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. One more blow was their
insurance company denying coverage, claiming a break in their
coverage. Chin was finally able to provide the documentation that
proved the insurance company wrong and coverage was restored, but he
was furious. He shares his anger, his mouthing off.
The
anger expanded to God. Here he was, a church planter, sacrificing and
trying to be the best he could be for God, yet look what happened.
God was supposed to protect them and be there when they needed Him.
He wore a mask while pastoring, hiding his anger, proclaiming his
trust in God, lying through his teeth.
He
hit bottom and finally came to the point of crying out to God in all
his pain and with total honesty. He realized life was hard and unfair
and faith shows its true power and full worth in such moments. He
also realized his wife was the bravest person he knew. As events
progressed, he admits he was clueless as to what God was doing, yet he
was not as hopeless as he had been. Through his experience of
suffering, Chin reveals, he finally understood the cross.
This
book is heavy on Chin's personal experiences and feelings of turmoil.
He describes himself as, “not the most emotionally resilient person
in the world, and very prone to discouragement.” He relates his
own tiredness and fatigue and his own suffering. It just felt a
little strange reading about all of that when it was his wife who had
the miscarriage and the cancer.
The
strength of this book is its personal account of coming to the
knowledge that God is with us in the midst of pain. God allows
suffering, Chin writes, because in His wisdom, He knows it is somehow
necessary and even beneficial. Our inability to make sense of
suffering is caused by a gross misunderstanding of the identity of
God. God is mysterious and wild but also loving and good. Suffering
and love are not mutually exclusive.
I
would recommend this book to men, to get a man's view of experiencing
his wife's cancer. I was disappointed that Chin was much more vocal
about his own suffering than he was about his wife's.
Food
for thought: “You see, you cannot truly understand the gospel and
the depth of God's love unless you understand suffering.”
Peter
Chin attended Yale University and Fuller Seminary. He planted
churches in Los Angeles, Virginia, Washington, D.C., and Seattle,
where he now serves as lead pastor of Rainier Avenue Church. You can
find out more at www.peterwchin.com.
Bethany
Fellowship, 240 pages.
I
received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for
the purpose of an independent and honest review.
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