A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings Book Review

About the Book:

Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles––a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”

Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn't risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

My Review:

Levings' memoir is eye opening. She is a good communicator and her book is well written. It is also sad in that what is supposed to be good and uplifting was actually destructive for her. She is only one of many women who have shared their experiences enduring overbearing and controlling Christian leaders and spouses. It is hopeful to know that she found her way out and experienced healing. Her writing style is engaging, even as her material is so honest and somewhat depressing.

It is important to note that Levings says it was not the events themselves that caused her religious trauma but her reactions to them. (260) Many experienced the same teaching she did about the rapture and hell and yet were not traumatized. And many, me included, grew up in a church setting that was not traumatic in any sense. This story is hers and not everyone's. It does need to be acknowledged but not generalized. Her experience was with authoritarian, high-control religion and is a good warning for all involved in Christian leadership.

My rating: 4/5 stars.

About the Author:

Tia Levings is the New York Times Bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife, her memoir of escape from Christian Patriarchy. She writes about the realities of religious trauma, evangelical patriarchy, and the Trad wife life, decoding the fundamentalist influences in our news and culture. Her work and quotes have appeared in Teen Vogue, Salon, Newsweek, and the HuffingtonPost. She also appeared in the hit Amazon docu-series, Shiny Happy People. Based in Raleigh, North Carolina, she is mom to four incredible adults and likes to travel, hike, paint, and daydream. Find her on social media @TiaLevingsWriter. Her second book, I Belong to Me, releases May 5, 2026.

St Martin's Press, 304 pages.

(My star ratings: 5-I love it, 4-I like it, 3-It's OK, 2-I don't like it, 1-I hate it.)