Do you want to be a better mom to your son? Eggerichs says the key is realizing that your son desires respect. And it's not just when the boys are young. They never outgrow their need for respect.
He explains the masculine soul, how to use “Respect-Talk,” and how to avoid the “look.” Mothers default to love so they need to be intentional about respect. He gives a road map of ideas by Giving the physical, Understanding the emotional, Instructing the mental, Disciplining the volitional, Encouraging the social, and Supplicating the spiritual (GUIDES). He then explains the six desires in a boy: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality (CHAIRS). He applies the GUIDES to each of the desires, including age specific suggestions and identification of the challenges boys will face.
Having been raised in a household with only sisters, I appreciate how Eggerichs demystifies the male behavior. He clearly explains the differences between men and women. It also helped to understand how a boy's self-esteem is developed.
The author makes it clear that respect differs from love. Just because I love someone does not mean I automatically respect them. For women, giving respect is not automatic. That's why it is commanded of wives in Ephesians 5:33, as is love of husbands.
However, unconditional respect from a mother does not mean that a son gets to do whatever he wants. “Respect entails boundaries,” and “Respectfulness demands truthfulness,” Eggerichs writes. (203)
He has included lots of examples and testimonies to illustrate his principles. This is a great book for moms, helping them to understand their sons (and husbands). There are many suggested conversations and examples to help readers.
Food for thought: “We are never hypocrites for doing the right thing though we do not feel like doing it. That's called maturity.” (201)
My rating: 5/5 stars.
Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known expert in male-female relationships. He has a PhD in child and family ecology from Michigan State University. He was senior pastor of Trinity Church in Lansing for almost twenty years. He and his wife have three adult children.
Thomas Nelson, 304 pages.
I received a complimentary copy of this book through Icon Media for the purpose of an independent and honest review.