Do
you want to be a better mom to your son? Eggerichs says the key is
realizing that your son desires respect. And it's not just when the
boys are young. They never outgrow their need for respect.
He
explains the masculine soul, how to use “Respect-Talk,” and how
to avoid the “look.” Mothers default to love so they need to be
intentional about respect. He gives a road map of ideas by Giving the
physical, Understanding the emotional, Instructing the mental,
Disciplining the volitional, Encouraging the social, and Supplicating
the spiritual (GUIDES). He then explains the six desires in a boy:
Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality
(CHAIRS). He applies the GUIDES to each of the desires, including age
specific suggestions and identification of the challenges boys will
face.
Having
been raised in a household with only sisters, I appreciate how
Eggerichs demystifies the male behavior. He clearly explains the
differences between men and women. It also helped to understand how a
boy's self-esteem is developed.
The
author makes it clear that respect differs from love. Just because I
love someone does not mean I automatically respect them. For women,
giving respect is not automatic. That's why it is commanded of wives
in Ephesians 5:33, as is love of husbands.
However,
unconditional respect from a mother does not mean that a son gets to
do whatever he wants. “Respect entails boundaries,” and
“Respectfulness demands truthfulness,” Eggerichs writes. (203)
He
has included lots of examples and testimonies to illustrate his
principles. This is a great book for moms, helping them to understand
their sons (and husbands). There are many suggested conversations and
examples to help readers.
Food
for thought: “We are never hypocrites for doing the right thing
though we do not feel like doing it. That's called maturity.” (201)
My
rating: 5/5 stars.
Emerson
Eggerichs is an internationally known expert in male-female
relationships. He has a PhD in child and family ecology from Michigan
State University. He was senior pastor of Trinity Church in Lansing
for almost twenty years. He and his wife have three adult children.
Thomas
Nelson, 304 pages.
I
received a complimentary copy of this book through Icon Media for the
purpose of an independent and honest review.