Sally
shares vignettes from her childhood with a father who had bouts of
raging anger and then may not speak to her for months. She had fear
of him, even into adulthood. The inconsistency of his personality
took a toll on her. She believed her father didn't love her as much
as her mother did.
In
grade school, Sally felt like she didn't belong. When with other
girls, “I knew I didn't belong. I acted as though I did, but inside
I knew I was all alone.” (102) She didn't feel like she was doing a
good job of being a girl. She was often mistaken for a boy. By high
school, she hadn't developed physically as quickly as the other
girls. She felt uncomfortable being a girl.
She
shares events over her early life that built up her mistrust of men.
Men were angry, deceptive and dangerous. Women were safe and were her
advocates.
While
she dated men in college, by her junior year she felt like she was in
love with another female student. Although she did not act on her
feelings, she could not deny they were a part of her.
Sally
went in to a career of teaching after college graduation. She
continued to have experiences, such as with male principals, that
reinforced her feelings toward men.
Being
a Christian, and having been raised in a Christian home (yes, a
Christian home with a Sunday School teaching, raging father), Sally
knew the life of holiness to which she was called. She sought
counseling. She was able to talk with her parents and form a
relationship with her father. She decided to go back to school and
get a law degree.
Sally
does not have any easy answers for her life. She still finds herself
living in tension, the unresolved conflict of what God calls her too
and the longing to be in intimate relationship. She is still filled
with questions as to how to live the life of holiness.
This
is a very insightful memoir. At first I thought Sally spent too much
time on her childhood but I realized how important those childhood
experiences were in the development of her personality.
In
the end, Sally offers no pat answers. She knows what Scripture says.
She knows what God requires of her. She still struggles. She writes
that if someone can relate to her story and feel less alone, then it
has all been worth it. (239) She has established a nonprofit ministry
providing safe places for conversation about same-sex attraction.
Find out more at www.centerpeace.net.
This
is an excellent book for Christians experiencing unwanted same-sex
attraction, for families and church leaders who want to understand
and respond to those experiencing same-sex attraction, and for
parents who want to instill healthy views of gender in their
children. (Fathers beware. Your anger could have a devastating effect
on your children.)
Watch
the book trailer here.
Sally
Gary holds degrees in communication from Abilene Christian University
and a law degree from Texas Tech University. A former high school
debate coach, trial lawyer, and college professor, Sally is a teacher
at heart. She is the founder and director of CenterPeace, a nonprofit
ministry providing safe places for conversation about same-sex
attraction in families and churches. She lives in Abilene, Texas.
Follow her blog at http://sallygary.wordpress.com/
Leafwood
Publishers (ACU Press), 240 pages.
I
received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for
the purpose of this review.
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