Monday, May 26, 2014

Living Whole without a Better Half by Wendy Widder

Singleness was not something Widder dreamed of as a little girl. “It was something I prayed only happened to other people.” (15) If that resonates with you, this is a good book for you to read.

She identifies two faulty assumptions – that God will give us what we want just because we follow Him, and that singleness is somehow second-rate. She writes about “God questions,” those questions to which we have no answers. “If I'll marry, who I'll marry, when I'll marry...” (38) God is the only one who knows the answers and He's not talking.

Using the stories of Old Testament heroes, she writes about the secret of contentment, a new perspective on pain, choosing a life of perseverance, living through rejection, living after rebellion, a perspective on worship, living with purpose, living beyond fear, and living without distraction.

Widder deals with the tough issues and emotions of singleness. She does this in the context of biblical story so it is not as specific as I've seen in other books on singles. The issues she deals with are ones common to all fallen people: loneliness, pain, rejection, unanswered questions, etc.

This book also contains some thoughts married folks need to think about. For example, “While everyone needs encouragement, singles especially need people who will walk with them.” (87) Singles don't have the built-in support system of a spouse. Singles need “friends who can lend faithful support and encouragement.” (88)

Very good “Study and Discussion Questions” section has been added at the end of each chapter so this would make a good selection for a small group.

Food for thought: “If there's not joy in singleness, there won't by joy in marriage either.” (41)

Wendy Widder spent most of her twenties teaching elementary students and waiting to get married. Then she decided life was happening without her, so she started a collection of graduate degrees in Bible, theology, and ancient languages. She emerged from the ivory tower and found herself in mid-life, learning new ways to live whole without a better half. She is the author of several previous books, one co-authored with her father. She currently writes for Logos Bible Software. She blogs at

Kregel Publications, 192 pages.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.

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